Ten Commandments - Texas Style
People in Texas have trouble with all those shalls and shall nots in the 10 Commandments. Folks there just aren't used to talking in those terms. So, some folks out in west Texas got together and translated the "King James" into "King Ranch" language: Ten Commandments, cowboy style.
Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas
(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting.
(5) Put nothin' before God..
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin'.
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff
Now that's kinda plain an' simple don't ya think?
Misprints in Church Bulletins
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. ? to come forward and lay an egg on the altar
8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Miss ...? sang "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation
Join us tonight for prayers, coffee and fresh beagles
The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility
This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
A songfest was hell at the Methodist church last Wednesday.
The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector
The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
A worm welcome to all who have come today.
Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice
William Shakespear found in the King James Version of the Bible
Shakespeare was about 46 years old when the KJV Bible was being translated and written, In Psalm 46 - The 46th word is "shake", and the 46th word from the end is "spear".
Twelve Disciples
Sing to - ‘Jesus loves me this I Know’
Jesus called then one by one
Peter, Andrew, James, and John
Next came Philip, Thomas too
Matthew and Bartholomew
Yes, Jesus called them
Yes, Jesus called them
Yes, Jesus called them
He called them one by one
James the one they called the less
Simon and Thaddeus
Twelfth apostle Judas made
Jesus was by him betrayed
